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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23451994">Quarantine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CartoonJessie/pseuds/CartoonJessie'>CartoonJessie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Are we really doing this?, F/M, and they were neighbors...., is that a thing now?, quarantine fic, we are.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:28:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23451994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CartoonJessie/pseuds/CartoonJessie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Armitage Hux has it all figured out. The pantry of his new apartment is fully stocked up and his job allows him to work from home. He's going to safely make it through this quarantine without seeing anyone else. He's a loner and he's more than capable of surviving this like any other intelligent human. But then he meets his neighbor, Rey. And she's cute. Too cute for social distancing. And the moment she says "hi" from her balcony, quarantine suddenly gets a whole lot harder...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armitage Hux &amp; Rey, Armitage Hux/Rey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Twenty days into quarantine, Armitage Hux felt like he was doing pretty well.</p><p>He’d seen it coming.</p><p>Weeks ago, when politicians had still been arguing about the necessary steps to take, before the lockdowns had begun, before people had started robbing stores of toilet paper, he’d slowly stocked up on food. His pantry was filled with pots and cans of fruits and vegetables. He had rice and potatoes to last him well over a month and his freezer was still mostly full. He wasn’t lacking in toilet paper whatsoever. (Though he didn’t understand why some people had stocked up on as many rolls as he’d seen in the news.)</p><p>His job allowed him to work from home – had always been willing to let him do so – and he’d begun self-isolating a bit sooner than most. He enjoyed the control it gave him over his own life and health – and he was grateful that he didn’t have to worry that he’d caught the virus from anyone at work.</p><p>He only left his apartment to get the mail in the hallway on the floor beneath him – a visit which he limited to once a week – and when he needed to take out the trash in the basement – which was necessary twice a week.</p><p>Each time he left the apartment, he put on latex gloves, the type they used in hospitals as well, as well as a face mask, and he washed his hands rigorously upon each return. Even more than that, he usually combined it with a good, long shower. There was no such thing as taking too many precautions.</p><p>While with 32 years, he was young and healthy, he didn’t want to taunt the powers that were. His father had always called him a sickly child, and though he hadn’t been sick in years, part of him was still afraid that maybe he’d be a little more prone to catch it than anyone else. Some years, his hay fever was quite bad, and he was rather skinny. It made him anxious that maybe, if he caught the virus, he wouldn’t deal with it as well as others his age, and so he quarantined himself long before the first cases of the disease were known in his area.</p><p>He missed going outside for some jogging, but he kept active by doing some exercise indoors, and doing a <em>ton</em> of cleaning. In the first ten days, he’d unpacked all the boxes that he hadn’t unpacked yet when he had moved into his new apartment, about six weeks earlier.</p><p>He was grateful that he’d moved into a smaller town next to the city. His previous apartment had been in the center of the city, in the fancy district, and it had been incredibly loud. The young people in his block had enjoyed throwing parties on about every day of the week. He’d hated every single one of his neighbors and their despicable choice of music and secretly wished they were all sick with the virus due to their excessive party-natures.</p><p>If that was a cruel thought, Armitage certainly didn’t believe it to be so himself. Empathy wasn’t his strong suit.</p><p>While the walls in his new apartment were a little thinner, people outside of the city seemed to be more considerate of their neighbors. The people upstairs could sometimes be heard walking about, but all in all he didn’t hear them much, and the people beneath him sometimes had a dog over. But even then, the dog seemed well-mannered, and if he barked, it was only a few times to let his presence be known.</p><p>There was only one more apartment in his block – it was a relatively small apartment block after all – nothing like the skyscrapers from the city. The final apartment was in the hallway opposite him. He knew it was occupied by a young woman and that she entertained people regularly. He had often heard them talk in the hallway, and sometimes he’d heard them shriek with laughter. In the mornings, she’d also sung quite a bit – but it hadn’t been loud or long enough for him to be bothered by it.</p><p>The noise had caused mild frustrations on a few occasions, but it was nothing that his noise cancelling earphones couldn’t handle. And even she had never bothered him by the time he’d gone to bed.</p><p>Since the quarantine had begun, he had no idea if she was even still there. Maybe she had moved in with her friends, for he hadn’t heard her at all.</p><p>He didn’t know his neighbors at all. Hadn’t even seen them – had just heard them in the hallway on a few occasions. He didn’t feel like he was missing something.</p><p>And as long as they all took good care of themselves, they’d be safe, and he hoped none of them caught the virus. While he was extremely careful taking the elevator to the basement and taking out the post, he hoped they all took measures to keep the virus off all the buttons and door handles they needed to share.</p><p>On Friday morning, he woke up before the alarm sounded, just because of the sound of birds outside of his window. He opened his eyes and lay there for a few moments, wondering when he’d last heard any birds. During the decade he’d lived on his own in the city, the only birds he’d ever heard were pigeons, and so this was a very lovely surprise. He saw it as an omen that he was going to be fine, and he got up and took a shower.</p><p>With over an hour to kill before he needed to begin work, he got dressed. He found it important to keep to his usual structure, and so he even wore the same type of tailored suit he usually wore to the office, with the fancy blue tie he was used to wearing. He made himself some coffee before he took his cup and headed back to his bedroom, opening the large window that led to his balcony before he stepped out on it, eager to check if he could spot some of those birds that had awoken him before.</p><p>Before he picked up on the sound of birds, he heard a “Oh, hello!” come from his side, and he froze completely as he looked at the source of this greeting.</p><p>To his surprise, his neighbor had had a similar idea to his – though her execution was completely different. She looked like she had just rolled out of bed, her hair rather messy and uncombed, and she was wearing pink slippers, purple pajama pants (which she wasn’t wearing properly, while on one leg they hung loosely over her foot, on the other side it had wrapped up underneath her knee), and an orange top which looked freezing cold for the time of year.</p><p>In her hands she was holding a dinosaur-themed cup of hot tea. It appeared like a little T-Rex was trying to emerge from the cup, and Hux felt terribly plain and uncomplicated as he looked at his own white cup of coffee.</p><p>“Hello,” he replied, his voice a little weary. She was standing about three meters away from him. Far enough for the recommended rules of social distancing, and so he did not move further away from her, though the idea was tempting.</p><p>“Under normal circumstances I would offer my hand,” she said with a half-smile. “I saw your name tag on your postbox below. Armitage Hux, right?”</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>“Rey Niima,” she replied. “Sorry for looking like I rolled right out of bed, I did. I swear I usually don’t come out looking like this.”</p><p>She had a pleasant way of speaking – one that almost made his lips turn up into a smile.</p><p>She seemed to be checking him out now, looking at everything about him, and she seemed confused.</p><p>“Do you have to go out?” she wondered. “Are you still working in the city or something?”</p><p>He shook his head.</p><p>“No. I’m working from home.”</p><p>“Good for you!” she replied, clearly relieved that he wasn’t forced to go outside. “Do you have to do a lot of conference calls or something? You look terribly fancy.”</p><p>He was flattered by those words, and he held his chin a little higher in response.</p><p>“I don’t have any conference calls planned, but there is always a possibility my boss might call.”</p><p>Rey smiled. “Clever. You’re lucky you can work from home.”</p><p>“Can’t you?” he wondered, recognizing her wistful tone.</p><p>She shook her head.</p><p>“Afraid not. I got laid off for now.”</p><p>“Oh.” He didn’t immediately know what to say. “Where did you work?”</p><p>“At the history museum.”</p><p>“Oh – hence the T-rex!” he remarked, pointing at her cup.</p><p>She smiled at that, nodding.</p><p>“Indeed. It should only be temporary. They said they want me back, once the museums open up again.” She sighed deeply. “Heaven knows when that will be though.”</p><p>He was silent. He had no idea either.</p><p>“What did you do?” he asked her instead. He wondered if she was an archaeologist or something of the sort.</p><p>“I gave the tours,” she told him. “Sometimes I also sold tickets in the morning – I was rather versatile in what I did. How about you? What kind of job do you have that you can work from home?”</p><p>“I’m in IT,” he told her, surprised by how little he minded talking to her.</p><p>“Oh dear!” she said, her voice full of empathy. “That must be hell right now.”</p><p>He frowned, not understanding why.</p><p>“What, with all the people trying to work from home and asking for VPN connections and such!” She seemed terribly upset at the idea that he had to work very hard at the moment.</p><p>He smiled – she was endearing.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” he assured her. “I’m a developer. I’m not that kind of IT’er. I work on software for the First Order.”</p><p>“Oh!” She gulped, apparently a little embarrassed that she had wrongfully assumed what kind of work he did.</p><p>Not wanting her to feel awkward about anything, he continued talking.</p><p>“Luckily, our IT department isn’t really flooded right now. All employees already had the necessary hardware to work from home. And since everyone already worked one day from their home office, most people are dealing quite well with the technical side of it. From what I heard they bought a few more VPN licenses for the firm, but other than that there was no issue. I assume it’s different when you’re not working in the private sector.”</p><p>Rey nodded. “Yes, at the museum it wasn’t possible for anyone to work from home. There’s no VPN or anything like that. Most people got laid off. Besides some security guys and some people that had a steady contract, no one’s working there anymore at the moment.”</p><p>“I read something interesting in the news yesterday,” he said, wondering since when he was so eager to make conversation. “In the Netherlands, a Van Gogh was robbed from a museum.”</p><p>She gasped, absolutely horrified. “Really? Oh that’s dreadful! I can’t imagine anyone stealing from our museum in these times. What kind of person takes advantage of this sort of situation?”</p><p>Hux shrugged. “Criminals. They only seem to get worse.”</p><p>As he sipped from his coffee, he looked out over the gardens, houses and forests in the distance.</p><p>She followed his gaze and said: “This isn’t too bad a place to be stuck in a lockdown. I mean, it’s a quiet town – and we’ve got a good view of the nearby trees and gardens – to watch spring come to life. And our view from our living rooms isn’t too bad either.”</p><p>He nodded in agreement. On the other side of their apartments, they had a good view of the small church and town square. It was always terribly quiet and even more so with the lockdown. There were worse views to be had from any apartment.</p><p>“You’re the first person I speak to in seven days,” she admitted quietly. “In person, I mean. Sorry if I’m babbling, I’m usually a bit more reserved to strangers.”</p><p>He looked at her, finding her charming, even in all her straight-out-of-bed unkempt glory.</p><p>“As am I,” he admitted. “I’ve been indoors for twenty days now.”</p><p>Her eyes went wide as he said that.</p><p>“Why?” she asked, the tiniest bit of judgement in her tone.</p><p>It was clear from her tone that she thought he was crazy.</p><p>“Other countries were already putting people in lockdown. I decided preventing a possible contamination was more important than working in the office.”</p><p>“And you still have enough food after <em>twenty</em> days?”</p><p>Her mouth was open as he nodded at her.</p><p>“Yes, more than enough. I’ve got a separate freezer in my pantry room.”</p><p>The wistful look in her eyes returned.</p><p>“I have a tiny fridge with a built in freezer. And when I went shopping, they hardly had any of the meats I liked left. I was able to get a few bell peppers – but they only had the bio ones left, the expensive ones, and I’ve got some of those cut up in my freezer. And some onions. But other than that, I miss fresh food. I miss going to the store whenever I want to to get whatever I feel like. I’ve never had to plan so far ahead with my cooking. And I bought these apples that are meant for cooking, not for just eating raw – they’re gross.”</p><p>He could only listen, but wasn’t sure what to say to make her feel better.</p><p>“First world problems, I guess?” she sighed, catching herself as she complained. “I know other people have it far worse. But subjectively, this entire lockdown has my body convinced we’re going to die. I haven’t slept properly since this began. I feel like I’m crawling up the walls.”</p><p>She sipped her tea, looking frustrated as she did so.</p><p>“It will be okay,” he said gently, the first kind words he’d spoken in a lifetime, and as she looked at him with a hopeful smile, he felt his chest tighten.</p><p>He wasn’t entirely certain if he believed those words himself, but it appeared that they had still managed to calm her.  </p><p>“I hope so too,” she said sadly, suddenly shuddering as a cold wind passed by.</p><p>“You should go inside,” he told her. “You’ll catch a cold.”</p><p>She was still smiling. “If it’s just a cold, I’ll be fine.”</p><p>It was impossible for him not to return her smile, and when she winked at him, he felt his heart jump again.</p><p>“See you soon?” she asked hopefully, and he nodded more eagerly than he could ever remember nodding in his life.</p><p>By the time she’d returned into her own apartment, he was feeling a bit <em>weird</em>. Not sick, definitely not sick, but not so differently either.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hux can't wait to see his cute neighbor again... Meanwhile, the lockdown is getting to Rey.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next few days, it rained. Drinking coffee on the balcony was a terrible idea, and so in the morning, he just stood in front of his bedroom window instead, often with the window open, listening for any sign that his neighbor was awake.</p><p>One morning he heard her open up her window, and his heart skipped a beat, yet he said nothing. What was he going to do? Shout at her from his own bedroom? No – that would be… <em>weird</em>. And he wasn’t that desperate for attention.</p><p>He wasn’t desperate at all, he told himself. Several times a day. Also each time he walked by his front door and looked through the peeping hole. And each time he heard the heavy entrance door of the apartment beneath him open, when he looked out the window. But it was never her. Always the upstairs or downstairs neighbors, but never her.</p><p>But he wasn’t desperate, he insisted. Just… <em>concerned</em>.</p><p>Yes, that was most certainly what it was! Just concern.</p><p>When four mornings after meeting her, the rain stopped, he was out on the balcony again the moment he’d gotten dressed and grabbed his coffee, but she wasn’t on her balcony at all.</p><p>Maybe it hadn’t been a habit of hers to drink her tea outside. Maybe he’d just gotten lucky that one particular day. Maybe she was watching the telly now as she drank her cup of tea, or maybe she was still sleeping.</p><p>But as he’d almost finished his cup, he heard the window of her apartment open, and as he looked to the side, he was delighted to see her step out.</p><p>This time she wasn’t in her pajamas, but she was wearing a comfy, brown house suit, and she was holding the same T-Rex mug as before. Her hair was half up in a ponytail, and he thought she looked beautiful.</p><p>“Good morning,” he greeted her anxiously, and she smiled warmly at him.</p><p>“Hello, Armitage. How are you?”</p><p>“Good,” he replied immediately. “You?”</p><p>He saw her smile waver for the smallest moment, and then she replied: “Have been better. Not great. But happy to see you none the less.”</p><p>Her words both flattered and alarmed him, and he frowned a she looked at her.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>She shrugged. “What isn’t wrong? Worried sick about my friends. Feeling ‘non-essential’ and thus a bit useless in all of this. Crawling up the walls. Frustrated about everything going on in the world. I’m trying to remain positive, but it’s so hard.” She took a deep breath. “I know, I know, first world problems.”</p><p>“At least you’re safe here,” he reminded her. “Has it still been – what – eleven days since you left the house?”</p><p>She nodded. “Yes, but I’m really going to have to go to the store tomorrow. Which is ironic. I’m at this point where I now know that I most likely don’t have it – since I haven’t fallen ill the past ten days – but now that I know I’m clean, I need to go out and mingle again, only to worry again for the next two weeks whether or not I got the disease or not from going out to shop.”</p><p>“Why do you need to go shopping?” he wondered, already figuring that maybe he could help her. “What is it you need?”</p><p>“Toilet paper, ironically,” she admitted with a smile. “But also vegetables and meat. And butter, I’m almost out.”</p><p>“I can help,” he offered immediately. “I’ve got plenty.”</p><p>It wasn’t a lie. He did have enough.</p><p>She blinked a few times, clearly at a loss for words.</p><p>“Really?” she already sounded very grateful. “You must tell me what it costs, I must repay you.”</p><p>He could agree to that. While he would not mind giving her whatever she needed, he understood the principle and did not want to wound her pride.</p><p>“I will make a rough calculation. I noticed I bought some Brussels sprouts with bacon – you can save it in the freezer and add it to whatever you’re eating. I don’t eat those, but maybe you do?”</p><p>She nodded eagerly. “That sounds lovely. Why don’t you eat those?”</p><p>“Not a big fan of bacon,” he admitted. “I thought they were just sprouts.”</p><p>She smiled warmly. “You do look like you haven’t eaten a lot of bacon in your life.”</p><p>For a moment he looked a little puzzled. What did she mean by that?</p><p>Realizing that he didn’t understand, she quickly said: “Because you’re so skinny.”</p><p>Now he was the one to blink, not sure if it was good that she called him such or not.</p><p>“Lean,” she corrected herself. “You’re not too skinny or anything – just… just lean.”</p><p>He forced a polite smile on his lips, not sure what to respond, and it seemed like she realized she’d said something wrong, for she seemed to be wincing.</p><p>As he slowly drank his coffee, she tried again: “I mean, I like your weight. I just don’t know how to describe it without sounding offensive?”</p><p>He smiled at her honesty. “Then maybe it’s best not to describe it at all.”</p><p>She nodded quickly. “You’re right. Sorry. I’m just… just happy to have someone to talk to at all.”</p><p>“If you’re in need of a talk, my door is always open. Figuratively. It’s literally always closed, but… if you’re not going outside or meeting other people I would invite you in.”</p><p>Rey’s eyes lit up at that. She was happy to hear that.</p><p>“Really? Also today?”</p><p>Surprised by her enthusiasm, he tried not to show how excited he was that she wanted to drop by already.</p><p>“Of course, if you are in need of someone to talk to.”</p><p>“Not just that,” she said. “I could do with a change of scenery. If I could visit you, that would be fantastic. Maybe I wouldn’t feel like crawling up the wall for a day.”</p><p>“Dinner at my place, then?” he suggested, surprised by how smooth he sounded. Inside his heart was ready to burst.</p><p>“Yes!” she said eagerly, bouncing a little in excitement. “What time?”</p><p>“Seven?”</p><p>“Fantastic! I’ll see you then!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His focus wasn’t fantastic while he worked that day, and he took some of his worktime to go through his pantry and freezer to look for something to cook for her.</p><p>He enjoyed his own cooking immensely, but he also knew he was far from a professional chef. Some of his recipes were rather unique, but he decided to play it safe. Some spaghetti would be nice – and he could add some onions and bell peppers to the sauce, as well as some minced meat – and he could show off with his homemade bread.</p><p>Frantically he looked for something to offer her as dessert, but he honestly didn’t have much in that regard. He didn’t have many sugar cravings himself, but he figured he could make some vanilla pudding and melt a little bit of chocolate on top. Just to make it a little more special than plain vanilla pudding. And women loved chocolate, didn’t they? Surely she’d appreciate it.</p><p>When work was over, he took another shower and changed into a new outfit. Not that his outfit was dirty or anything of the sort, but he just wanted to make a good impression. His apartment had been cleaned the day before, so he knew he was good in that regard.</p><p>He frantically set about to prepare their dinner, but took the longest when he had to set the table. Would he let her sit opposite him, or next to him? Opposite him was so far away, but next to him was so familial. It was also too close, especially if one considered social distancing rules.</p><p>Not that he wanted to socially distance from her – but he forbade himself to think that way.</p><p>Would it be nice to play some classical music in the background? To open a bottle of wine? To get some candlelight?</p><p>He forbade himself to even think about it for longer than a few moments – that would be creepy. She just wanted company, not romance. He didn’t want her to overthink it – so it was important that he didn’t overthink all of this either.</p><p>When his doorbell rang, he jumped a little. He still had to get used to the buzzing sound, which he thought to be a little too loud.</p><p>He took a deep breath before  he opened the door, and when he saw her standing in the hallway, he smiled warmly, though he had to hide the internal panic when he realized she’d dressed up for him. She was wearing a cute blue-gray dress and some low heels. Her hair looked spectacular, like she’d really spent time on getting herself ready before coming over, and she was wearing a bit of makeup that he had not seen her wear in the mornings.</p><p>It did nothing to lessen the attraction he’d already felt for her.</p><p>In her hands, she was holding a little gift – in the see-through plastic wrapping he could see it was a rather large, black candle. As she offered it to him, he took it, a little confused.</p><p>“I would usually offer wine or alcohol – but I don’t have any. I do have quite a few candles, so… I hope you like this one. It’s not alcohol, but…”</p><p>“It’s great,” he replied, smiling gently as he stepped back and let her enter his apartment. As she stepped into his hallway, he added: “You look lovely, by the way.”</p><p>She blushed at that. “Thank you. I really wanted to make an effort. I miss going out, so maybe now I’ve tricked my brain into believing I’m miles away from home.”</p><p>He chuckled. “Clever. Please, do come in further.”</p><p>As she walked into his living room, he followed her, checking out the candle in his hands.</p><p>“Did you make this yourself?” he wondered – not that it was that obvious that it was homemade.</p><p>“I did. I enjoy experimenting with candle-making and such. Most are way more colorful than this one. It smells like sage, by the way, if you were to light it. I somehow figured this one matched you most.”</p><p>She was very considerate, he thought to himself. It did match him best, and it looked great on his dark table.</p><p>“Shall I light it?” he wondered. “Or would you consider that rude, if I were to burn your gift, quite literally?”</p><p>She laughed loudly at that. “No, that’s the purpose – I’d be honored if you used it. And I love dinner by candlelight.”</p><p>His heart jumped once more as he thought about the romantic music he had wanted to play – and while he quickly stopped himself from having such thoughts, he did place the candle on the table between their plates, and lit it.</p><p>Rey had already found the dimmer for his lights, and turned them down a bit. Once again, he was surprised and he tried not to think too much about it. She just wanted to make it cozy - that was all.</p><p>As she looked around his apartment, she seemed impressed. “I love how sleek and modern your furniture looks. Very dark – but charismatic.”</p><p>“Charismatic furniture?” he questioned her, raising an eyebrow in amusement.</p><p>“You know what I mean,” she replied with a mild blush on her cheeks. “It’s a great style. Powerful.”</p><p>The way she dodged his gaze made him wonder if she was talking about his apartment or about him. Was she flirting? Was she just shy? He wished he knew better.</p><p>“Please, have a seat,” he offered. “The spaghetti is already done, I was just keeping it warm.”</p><p>“Hmm! Spaghetti!” She sounded excited at that. “I love spaghetti.”</p><p>“Good,” he replied, trying to keep the conversation going. “Imagine me making something you hated – and then you’d starve.”</p><p>He was amused by the sound of her chuckle as he stirred the sauce which was on a low simmer on the fire.</p><p>“Do you mind me mixing the sauce and spaghetti together already?”</p><p>“Not at all,” she replied.</p><p>“Some people get offended if you mix it in before they do,” he explained.</p><p>“You met such people?”</p><p>“No,” he replied honestly. “But I heard a few colleagues once have an argument about it.” After a moment of thought, he added: “You’re the first person I ever made spaghetti for – besides myself, that is.”</p><p>She tilted her head curiously at that – wondering why he’d never cooked for anyone before – if he’d never lived together with someone – but he had his back turned to her and didn’t notice.</p><p>When he put the spaghetti on the table between them, he asked: “Would you open a bottle of wine with me?”</p><p>Her eyes lit up. “If it’s red wine, yes!”</p><p>A few minutes later, they were enjoying their meal together, the candlelight making Hux a little nervous as he looked at her. She was absolutely beautiful, charming, intelligent and classy.</p><p>But he also knew there was a playful and quirky side to her – a side which he had already seen in their mornings shared on the balcony.</p><p>When they were done with their meal, she even offered to do the dishes, but he declined, and instead invited her to sit on the leather couch. As they took their glass of wine along, she wondered: “Got any music to play?”</p><p>He nodded. “Anything in particular that you’d like to hear?”</p><p>“Something soft,” she responded, and in turn he put on some classical musical, causing her to smile.</p><p>“Lovely,” she said approvingly. “You’re a good host.”</p><p>“You’re a good guest to have,” he returned the compliment, sitting down not too far from her, but still with a respectable distance between them.</p><p>She smiled, looking into her glass before she took a small sip, but her cheerfulness seemed to fall a little bit.</p><p>Then again, did she really have a reason to be cheerful? She was stressed from all that was going on – and while she was polite and gorgeous and what-not, she was probably also very stressed by all that went on outside of their apartment.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” he offered carefully, and as she looked up at him, he realized she immediately knew what he was talking about.</p><p>She sighed and shook her head. “What’s there to say… The situation sucks. This sucks. I don’t see a silver lining right now.”</p><p>“Try to count your blessings. It’s what I do, and it helps me.”</p><p>“That’s probably easier for you than it is for me,” she said, a small frown on her face. “You’ve got a job – an occupation – a use during this crisis. I don’t have my job, can’t see my colleagues, can’t see my friends…”</p><p>“You’ve got me,” he reminded her – only realizing after he’d said it how horribly conceited it sounded. He was a stranger to her – yet he’d almost made it sound like he was god’s gift to her.</p><p>She seemed a little shocked for a moment that he’d even said such a thing, but her gaze softened and she smiled.</p><p>“You’re right. I’m sorry if I’m sounding ungrateful. I find it easier to focus on the bad things than the good things. I should do as you say and count my blessings.” She took a deep breath. “I’m grateful that I’ve at least got you to get to know right now – you to talk to – you to invite me to a fantastic dinner, with excellent wine!” She took a sip, which she really enjoyed.</p><p>“I’m grateful you came over too,” he added, raising his glass to her, and she raised it in return, blushing as they both brought the glass to their lips and took a sip.</p><p>“How do you keep yourself from panicking?” she wondered.</p><p>“I try not to think too much about what horrors are unfolding in hospitals and other people’s homes,” he admitted honestly. “I focus on myself and the opportunities this gives me to pick up new skills and to look at life in a new way. I used to eat out a lot more, and now I’m being forced into my kitchen on a daily basis, to rely on myself and my own skills more than I ever did before, and it gives me confidence.”</p><p>Rey sighed. “I’ve mostly made noodles and eaten toast.”</p><p>“That’s okay,” he assured her, hoping he wasn’t boasting too much or making her feel worse about herself. “What I would recommend is going through everything you have in your house, writing it down, and then just watching some videos on youtube on what to create with the ingredients you have. Then try to plan out what you can still make, and try to stick to the plan as long as you can before you go to the store. I see it as a challenge to go as little as possible – to last longer than others and thus take my responsibility better than many.”</p><p>Rey narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. “You handle it like it’s a competition.”</p><p>He considered it for a moment, then nodded.</p><p>“I suppose so!”</p><p>She shook her head incredulously. “Then how do you win?” she wondered, deciding to humor him.</p><p>“Well, obviously, by surviving,” he replied dryly, to which she rolled her eyes. “And, I guess…” He thought about it for a brief moment. “By emerging from this crisis as a better person. Stronger. Wiser.”</p><p>“Kinder,” Rey added softly, and though it wasn’t what Hux had in mind, he nodded graciously.</p><p>“Maybe even with new friends,” she continued gently, smiling at him, and he knew his lips were curling up into a rare smile as well.</p><p>It was nice to see her happy – despite all that was going on.</p><p>They chatted amiably for another hour, until darkness fell outside and Rey yawned, covering her mouth with her hand.</p><p>“I should get going,” she said softly, and he didn’t stop her – even though he’d enjoyed her company immensely.</p><p>Before she left, he shared some of his resources with her. He filled a shopping bag with some of the stuff he had too much of, like cornflakes and frozen vegetables and minced meat, and she gladly accepted.</p><p>As he guided her back to the hallway, she said: “I should repay you for this.”</p><p>“There’s no need,” he told her, before he added with a smirk: “I’m not going to hold it against you if you don’t pay me back for this. Remember, I’m trying to win this game and apparently being kinder helps.”</p><p>She chuckled.</p><p>“Then can I offer you a hug at least?”</p><p>His eyes widened at that, and as she stepped out into the hallway and looked at him hopefully, waiting for his consent, he quickly shook his head.</p><p>“No, no,” he said quickly. “We have to keep our distance,” he reminded her, his voice a little higher than it usually was – a hint of panic in it that even he couldn’t explain.</p><p>She averted her eyes, but he could see the disappointment she tried not to show him.</p><p>Trying to lighten the mood, he added: “Can’t win the game by hugging people!”</p><p>She smiled at that, but he saw how the smile didn’t fully reach her eyes as she hugged the bag of groceries instead.</p><p>“Understood. Thanks again for the lovely dinner – and the good wine – and the groceries.”</p><p>“It’s my pleasure,” he said gently, leaning against his doorframe as he looked at her. Why hadn’t he accepted her hug? She wasn’t sick.</p><p>He reminded himself that that didn’t mean she didn’t have it.</p><p>“Sleep tight, Armitage,” she said sweetly.</p><p>“Sleep tight, Rey.”</p><p>As she went into her own apartment again, he closed the door behind him, before he pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.</p><p>Why on earth had he rejected her? Maybe the hug hadn’t been as much for him as it had been for her. He just hoped things wouldn’t get weird because he’d rejected it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey and Hux go for a nice walk!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, he drank his coffee by himself as he stood on his balcony. By the time he’d finished his first cup, he was convinced he’d offended her and she wouldn’t pop up anymore. Feeling defeated, he left to go inside and start his work.</p><p>He’d been able to focus well during the previous weeks – but now that he feared that he’d maybe blown his chances with Rey, his focus seemed lost. He was stuck reading the same mails three times without fully grasping what they were saying. What did it all even matter anyways?</p><p>By lunchtime, his brain felt fried and he got up to stretch his legs, and as he walked through his hallway to go and do some laundry, he suddenly noticed a piece of paper had been slipped underneath his door.</p><p>Curiously, he bent down to pick it up. It was handwritten, and he knew it had to be Rey before he started reading it. His blood rushed to his ears.</p><p>
  <em>“I overslept this morning – didn’t spot you on the balcony by the time I was up. Must have been that fantastic wine you served me! I slept like a baby. I want to go for a walk in the evening. Want to join me? I’ll leave at 6.”</em>
</p><p>He was grinning like an idiot as he read it.</p><p>
  <em>“PS: We’re only allowed to go out together as long as we keep our distance.”</em>
</p><p>She didn’t need to inform him of that – he knew the rules.</p><p>Though the offer was tempting, he was a little conflicted.</p><p>Part of him didn’t want to leave his apartment. It was safe here. He wasn’t sure what awaited him outside, but he felt delighted that she’d asked him. He’d be a fool to waste this shot at going out with her – even if it was just for an evening walk and not something fancy like a dinner at a good restaurant. Besides, he didn’t know the area very well. Maybe she could show him a nice spot for walking or jogging.</p><p>The rest of the day, his focus was way better, and he managed to finish on time.</p><p>By six o’ clock, he knocked on her door, and as she opened it, she smiled widely.</p><p>“I was hoping you’d feel like going for a walk!”</p><p>She sounded so cheerful that it was hard for Hux to resist a smile. He let her go down the stairs first and followed right behind her. There was a bit of a chill in the air, but nothing too cold.</p><p>On the sidewalk, they both walked as far from one another as was possible. It was very strange. The roads were practically empty and Rey led Hux to a nearby forest.</p><p>“I haven’t gone for any walks in this area yet,” Hux admitted. “I’m glad you can show me around.”</p><p>“Honestly, I’m glad you wanted to join me. We have beautiful forests here but I’d never go for a walk in them on my own.”</p><p>“Why not?” he wondered. “Are there wild animals or something?”</p><p>As she was silent, he looked at her, only to see her give him a look as though he was an alien or something of the sort.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>He understood then.</p><p>“Sorry,” he apologized immediately. “I hadn’t considered…” He felt bad for not realizing sooner why a young, attractive woman like Rey would avoid walking into an empty forest on her own.</p><p>“It’s okay,” she said quickly. “Sorry if I seemed offended there.”</p><p>“You had reason to be,” he tried to assure her.</p><p>“Not really,” she admitted. “Something tells me you haven’t had many girlfriends.”</p><p>His ears turned red. Was she thinking of becoming a girlfriend?</p><p>No, surely not. She was probably just referring to how little he knew of women and their world.</p><p>“Not any long-term relationships,” he admitted. “You?”</p><p>She shrugged. “A few. But never to the point of moving in with them or anything.”</p><p>Why were they even asking these questions? Or answering them? Was the attraction he felt mutual?</p><p>“So you haven’t been here yet?” she asked, changing the topic before he had to.</p><p>“No, first time out here.”</p><p>“Oh, I’ll show you some cool spots! I have some friends that love to drop by and join me for walks here – Finn and Poe – but I’m afraid I won’t see them for a long while.”</p><p>“Because of the lockdown?” he wondered.</p><p>“Sort of. Yes. Finn works in a hospital, so he’s always at risk. Poe – his boyfriend – is a pilot. Last I heard he was in Turkey – he can’t come home for the moment, he’s rather stuck there for now.”</p><p>“That must be frustrating,” Hux acknowledged.</p><p>“Yes, I’m very worried about him. He’s also bored out of his mind. He’s in some hotel – not even in his own home, so he’s got none of his music or his books, or even his guitar. And obviously he’s very worried about Finn too – who is in turn worried about Poe. I can’t even call them. Finn is working insane shifts and I don’t want to disturb him when he’s resting, and if I call Poe in Turkey I’d drain his calling credit. All I can do is send him texts – and he only responds once every few days. I miss them so much.”</p><p>“How did you meet them?”</p><p>“I met Finn when I was sixteen, he was only a year older when he ended up in the orphanage.”</p><p>“Orphanage?” Hux repeated, a little bit in shock to learn that.</p><p>“Oh, sorry, our group home,” she corrected herself.</p><p>Still, that didn’t do much to lessen the shock to Hux.</p><p>“It was an orphanage way back when - before we were born,” Rey explained. “We continued to call it an orphanage, as did people in the neighborhood – but it was just a home for about 15 kids with its own dedicated crew to look after them.”</p><p>“Did you lose your parents at a young age?” Hux asked.</p><p>Rey nodded. “They left me when I was five. Junkies.”</p><p>He was very quiet for a moment, not sure how to respond to that. He knew plenty of people that had a bad relationship with their parents. Phasma had left her parents herself when she was a teenager – and Kylo pretended his didn’t exist – and he himself had hated his own father until his death and beyond.</p><p>But this was different. Rey had never had a choice – she’d been abandoned.</p><p>“I’m so sorry to hear that. That must have been hard.”</p><p>She nodded, not even bothering to downplay it.</p><p>“It was. And my first foster home was horrible. It was at the orphanage, when I was about sixteen, that I began to process what I’d been through as a child. Finn became a brother to me. I was so horrible to him at first – I felt like he was eating up all my space and time – I snapped at him and tried to put him at a distance, but he persisted and continued to offer his friendship, until I took it and that’s when things started to get better. We went through college together, which is when he met Poe. Not on the campus itself, but in a bar. Poe’s a bit older and he performs with his guitar sometimes. He’s very good – great player. He fell in love with Finn, and later on Finn fell in love with him too. They bicker a lot, but they’re also a very sweet couple.”</p><p>“It really sounds like you miss them,” Hux admitted.</p><p>“I really do,” she sighed, wiping at her eyes for a moment.</p><p>In the meantime, it seemed like they were walking downhill on a long forest path, and Hux wondered where they’d end up. The forest was stunning, even as the sun was already setting. It only added to its beauty.</p><p>“Is there no one you miss during this crisis?” Rey returned the question, deciding she’d talked enough about herself. “Your parents, perhaps?”</p><p>He shook his head. “No – my father died several years ago, and he was an abusive bastard so I’m glad he’s gone. And I never knew my birthmother.”</p><p>He said it casually. He didn’t want to sound dramatic about it. He didn’t have a sob story – his life was just what it was. There was no past to be envious of, but he’d ended up alright.</p><p>“Abusive?” Rey asked, her voice full of empathy. “In what way?”</p><p>His jaw clenched. He never spoke about it. No one had ever even bothered to ask. Then again, he had never called his father an <em>abusive bastard</em> before either. Her own honesty had caused him to overshare.</p><p>“Physical and emotional,” he replied. “But I’m fine – don’t worry. I never needed therapy or anything of the sort.”</p><p>He clenched his jaw again, hoping she was done discussing the topic.</p><p>But they were in for a long walk, and now Rey’s curiosity was piqued.</p><p>“And you never had a serious relationship?” she asked, even if he’d already told her a little earlier.</p><p>“No,” he replied briefly.</p><p>“And you never lived with anyone else but your father then?”</p><p>“No,” he agreed begrudgingly.</p><p>She was quiet for a while, but it was like he could hear her brain cracking under the weight of all her thoughts. He knew she was analyzing him, and he hated to think that she’d think less of him when she was done.</p><p>“You know, even if you’ve never needed therapy, it can’t hurt to talk about it,” Rey said gently.</p><p>“I assure you there isn’t much to say,” he insisted, noticing something between the trees. “Is that a lake?”</p><p>“It is,” she responded, immediately switching the topic back to what he was trying to divert her attention from. “It wouldn’t be strange to have problems with attachments or intimacy if you’ve suffered abuse as a child – especially from a parent.”</p><p>“What would you know?” he snapped back. “You practically never had parents.”</p><p>Harsh as his words were, Rey’s skin was much thicker than that, and it was a wound that had healed nicely – not one that he could cut open with a few sharp words.</p><p>“You’re deflecting and lashing out at me to keep me out,” Rey observed. “Like a cat hissing at someone that tries to touch a bleeding wound. You have to trust that I’m not here to hurt you – I’m just trying to help.”</p><p>As they emerged from the forest path, they found themselves on a small sandy beach by the lake. Some massive boulders lay here and there in the sand, and Rey walked to one and sat down as she looked at Hux, who had pursed his lips together and refused to say anything now.</p><p>He did not make himself comfortable on one of the boulders. He hardly looked around – even if the place was rather spectacular. He was frowning as he looked at Rey – the woman who had the <em>nerve</em> to assume he wanted to talk about his past. The <em>nerve </em>to think she had earned that kind of trust already.</p><p>She didn’t push for him to talk, and instead said: “I know what physical and emotional abuse is like for a child.” Her voice was soft, as though trying to lull him into compliance.</p><p>He was still frowning.</p><p>“My first foster home was with a man whose name I still don’t enjoy saying. I wasn’t a daughter to him – more like a slave. He had a garage we were forced to help out in. He called us dumb and told us nobody was ever going to want us in their families – that we were annoying children and that was why our parents left us. He encouraged us to rival with one another, to distrust one another – so we didn’t try to help each other. And if we annoyed him, he got aggressive – and when he got drunk, you didn’t want to be nearby. It was horrible to live with him – luckily one of the older kids spoke of what he did to us and we were all taken away and put into other homes – but I lived there for four long years. Four years of hearing I could not be loved – of hearing I was dumb – of being starved when I was naughty and ducking away whenever he stood too close, out of fear I would get hit, of distrusting everyone around me.”</p><p>She took a deep breath, though she seemed calm enough as she admitted all of that. If it had been a traumatic experience, recounting it did not seem to be particularly traumatic to her at this moment, and his gaze had softened a little bit.</p><p>“You don’t seem very upset about it anymore,” he remarked.</p><p>“I had a lot of counseling,” she admitted. “It took many years to believe in myself again. And it took even longer to realize that it was not my fault – at all.”</p><p>“I don’t need counseling,” he insisted stubbornly.</p><p>“I did not say you needed counseling,” she replied coyly.</p><p>She smiled gently at him, and he realized that she was able to see right through him. It made him want to run, and it took all his willpower to stay where he was.</p><p>As the sun was setting, he looked out at the forest on the other side of the lake and the setting sun.</p><p>“What is this place?” he wondered, once more hoping they could drop the topic.</p><p>“It used to be some sort of sand quarry. They dug it all up in the seventies and such – which created this entire valley. Then nature reclaimed it, which is why there’s this lake now and the forest and such – and this sandy beach. It’s great, isn’t it?”</p><p>“It is,” he admitted as he marveled at how beautiful it was. It was hard to believe this was at a walking distance from his house.</p><p>“You probably won’t join me for a walk anytime soon,” Rey said with a sad smile, and he frowned at that.</p><p>“Why would you say that?”</p><p>“Well, because I’ve made you uncomfortable.”</p><p>“You haven’t.”</p><p>“I have. I can tell.”</p><p>They shared a long gaze, and by the end of it they were both smiling.</p><p>“Okay, you’ve made me a little uncomfortable,” he admitted honestly, averting his gaze again. “I overshared. I should have never called my dad an abusive bastard.”</p><p>“I’m glad you told me though. Especially if it’s the truth.”</p><p>He nodded. “It is.”</p><p>As he looked out over the lake, Rey realized he wasn’t going to continue talking about it. He wasn’t ready. Maybe he’d never be.</p><p>“Want to continue our walk?” she asked as she got up again. “We can walk around the lake – it takes about an hour.”</p><p>“Sure!” He was eager to stretch his legs a little further, and happy that she dropped the topic and instead told him about the area and its history.</p><p>By the time they were walking up the hill again, back towards home, night had fallen. It was dark and it was a good thing that their eyes had gotten used to the darkness or they wouldn’t have seen much at all.</p><p>“It’s not very cold,” Rey remarked.</p><p>“No, it’s not.” As he gazed up, he added: “Especially considering the fact it’s so clear out – I’d expect it to be colder.”</p><p>“Next week temperatures will drop again,” Rey said as she gazed up as well. “They said it on the news.”</p><p>When she suddenly stumbled, Hux was just in time to notice it and he moved closer to catch her before she fell.</p><p>As she grabbed his arm for support and he held her steady, they both gasped as they realized they weren’t keeping their distance anymore.</p><p>Quickly Rey straightened herself and took a step back, as did Hux, his heart beating wildly.</p><p>“Sorry!” she apologized honestly. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Are you okay?” he asked breathlessly.</p><p>She looked back to the ground. “Yeah no idea what I stumbled over – I wasn’t watching where I was going.”</p><p>“You didn’t hurt yourself?”</p><p>“No, not at all – thanks to you.”</p><p>“Good.” He was relieved. “Maybe we shouldn’t go for walks in the darkness – not in the forest, at least.”</p><p>She chuckled. “You’re right. Sorry.”</p><p>“No, stop apologizing,” he insisted. “You couldn’t help stumbling. And I’m still glad you took me here.”</p><p>“I’m glad you joined me.”</p><p>They carefully watched where they were stepping until they arrived back on the well-lit streets of their little town and made their way to the old church.</p><p>By the time they were back in their apartment hallway, it was nearly nine.</p><p>“I think I’m going to sleep very well tonight,” Rey admitted.</p><p>“Same. Thank you for showing me around. If you know any other nice spots to walk, I’d love to join you in the future.”</p><p>She smiled at that. “I will. There’s a rather nice forest near the cemetery – and I also know a nearby spot that has a lot of blueberries in summer.”</p><p>He smiled. “That sounds great.”</p><p>As they came to a halt in front of their apartment doors, they didn’t turn away from each other for a little while, just looking at one another – their hair a little messier now than it had been when they’d left. Neither wanted to say goodnight just yet – but the awkwardness of their silence became hard to bear.</p><p>“Don’t forget to wash your hands,” Hux reminded her. “You touched me when you fell.”</p><p>She smiled. “I doubt you’ve given me a virus, Armitage.”</p><p>“We both can’t be certain of that,” he said as he wagged his finger. “Besides, washing our hands is the best thing we can do.”</p><p>She smiled sadly. “When this is all over, I am going to give you a hug.”</p><p>He turned red in the face, his body going into a mild state of panic at that statement.</p><p>“Okay,” he responded quickly, his voice foreign to his own ears. “Goodnight, Rey.”</p><p>“Goodnight, Armitage.”</p><p>She blew him a little kiss before she turned around, and he was left in shock at the gesture alone.</p><p>He watched her open her door and enter her apartment before he turned around and did the same.</p><p>But he was left bewildered. <em>Why had she blown him a kiss? </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I erased the story notes I had written - so I want to clarify again: this story is not necessarily set in the States or the UK, and not necessarily set in Belgium, where I live. I keep it vague - so I can be vague with lockdown measures as well. </p><p>Do not take things I write in this story as scientific fact. I'm not a scientist. Follow whatever your country dictates in regards to this virus, listen to your local virologists and scientists, and follow your common sense. Wash your hands. Keep your distance. Stay strong. And if making it a game like Hux does makes it more fun to follow the rules, then do so. </p><p>I hope you're all in good health (both physically and mentally) and if you wish to rant about anything at all, feel free to do so!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The two neighbors have an argument.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For several weeks, the lockdown continued, and their friendship grew.</p><p>They had coffee on their balconies in the morning, went for walks in the evenings, and sometimes had dinner at Hux’s place.</p><p>They even went shopping together, each with their own cart, reminding the other of things they shouldn’t forget. Hux let Rey go first, and whenever someone came too near to him or Rey, he called them out on it in such a stern voice that they all backed off.</p><p>Rey was impressed. While he didn’t make himself popular, he was at least urging people to behave, and she felt quite safe doing her groceries.</p><p>The best thing was that he even took her along in his car. Though she was seated in the back – just to keep their distance from one another – it was a very welcome luxury. She never could have gotten as many groceries home if she’d have gone by bike, and this meant that she could stay home for many weeks – nearly a month even.</p><p>She was beginning to think of the lockdown the way he did – like it was a game they were trying to lose – and she was trying to score as little points as possible. Surprisingly, he was very supportive of her in that regard.</p><p>She liked him so much more than she’d been able to tell him. Every time she said something nice she noticed he could not handle it. He either turned red in the face or walked away or stumbled over his own words in response to hers. He could hardly look her in the eye if she was too nice to him.</p><p>For her, it wasn’t a mystery why he acted that way. Years of unprocessed trauma made it impossible for him to take a compliment when it was very personal. When she complimented his meals and cooking skills, he was gracious – but when she complimented <em>him</em>, it seemed like he wanted to run and hide.</p><p>How she longed to know what had gone on in his childhood precisely. She believed that if she knew, she would also know better how to approach him and how to help him – but he remained a mystery, despite all the time they spent together.</p><p>Her attraction to him had only increased. The fact that she was forced to remain at a distance from him was pure torture. She wanted to hold his hand – to touch his beautiful hair – to pinch his cheeks or tickle him or to stand on the tips of her toes and kiss him on the lips – but instead he backed away every time she neared him, and so she tried to suppress her own desire in those moments spent together.</p><p>But she had a plan. A beautiful plan that could work – maybe.</p><p>She’d waited long enough – she knew he liked her too, so what did she have to lose?</p><p>Six weeks after the madness has begun – many weeks after their first meal together – she invited him to his first dinner at her place, as well as a movie. He arrived punctually and she invited him in. After he politely gave her a bottle of wine, she asked him to enter and take a seat, but it didn’t take very long for her to see that he looked a little tense.</p><p>He wasn’t as at ease at her place as he was at his own, that was clear to her. He was looking around, taking in this new environment, his gaze lingering for a long while over a bunch of pictures of herself, Poe and Finn and some friends from work that she’d pinned to her kitchen wall. She hoped that with some of his own wine and nice music, he’d relax a bit more.</p><p>She lit some candles, she put on some romantic tunes, she fed him lasagna and asked him about his day, but she couldn’t help but notice that he held his fork a little tighter than usual, and that he sat terribly straight on her chair, his voice rather clipped as he politely conversed back with her – all topics rather superficial and light.</p><p>If he behaved this way around all women when he wasn’t at his own place, it explained why he hadn’t had any long-term relationships.</p><p>After they were done with their dinner, she asked him to take a seat on the sofa and to make himself comfortable for the movie.</p><p>He stood up and looked at her double sofa, seemed to calculate it for a moment, and then sat himself down on the single person armchair instead.</p><p>She’d followed him with her gaze, and could hardly believe what she saw.</p><p>“You don’t need to sit in that old chair,” she told him. “You’ll have a better view from the sofa.”</p><p>He didn’t seem to be sitting very comfortably, not even leaning back into the armchair and he had a small frown on his face.</p><p>“We shouldn’t be sitting so close. Your sofa is too small,” he insisted stubbornly.</p><p>Part of her wanted to cry out in frustration, but she took a deep breath before any of that frustration revealed itself towards him.</p><p>“Armitage, last time we went shopping was over two weeks ago. We don’t have the virus. We’re healthy. We’re safe. You don’t need to be afraid of me.”</p><p>“That’s what the virus wants you to think,” he said as he finally leaned back in the old armchair and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You throw out your trash without me present. I empty my mailbox without you there. We can still get sick from touching stuff that others in our apartment block have touched, and we’d never know if it was contaminated or not. You could make me sick or I could make you sick. We have to play it safe.”</p><p>As he finished saying that, she opened her mouth to say something back, but she didn’t know how. Disappointed that her plan was spectacularly failing, she instead sighed and sat down on the corner of the sofa, as far away from him as she could. It was what he wanted anyways.</p><p>“Let’s just watch a movie then,” she gave in, but none of her usual enthusiasm remained in her voice as she took her remote control and turned on her television.</p><p>She was aware how he wasn’t watching the television, but was looking at her instead.</p><p>“You’re upset with me.”</p><p>It was just an observation, and it was correct. She didn’t have the desire to tell him he was wrong about that – because he honestly wasn’t.</p><p>“I know you want this lockdown to be over,” he told her gently, a hint of empathy in his voice. She didn’t look at him though, but kept her gaze on the television instead. “You have to keep thinking straight – use logic, trust your brains. Just keep your distance – that’s how we can both stay safe.”</p><p>“We <em>are</em> staying safe,” she stubbornly argued. “We are doing everything imaginable we can to not get sick.”</p><p>He frowned. “I beg to differ. We could actually wear mouth masks in each other’s presence and gloves and not sit down and touch each other’s stuff. We could converse from our balconies instead of our living rooms.”</p><p>She rolled her eyes. “Well, and we’re not. So why won’t you just sit down on the sofa?”</p><p>“I won’t contaminate the spot where you prefer to sit!” he defended himself.</p><p>“And I never sit down in your favorite spot when I visit your place?”</p><p>“Sure, but I wash the sofa and the chair the moment you’re gone! Just to be safe! But I’ve got leather that allows such treatment – your sofa is a little harder to maintain in that way.”</p><p>She shook her head. “You’re taking this too far. You’re being ridiculous. Your fear of contamination isn’t healthy.”</p><p>“I disagree.” He sounded as calm as ever, though he still had his arms crossed stubbornly. “It’s not unhealthy. I’m not losing sleep – I’m not doing stupid things to put myself or others at risk. I’m approaching this rationally – but you just can’t deal with this crisis emotionally, that’s why you’re now snapping at me. Your hunger for companionship is making you unnecessarily cruel about my ways. If you were rational you’d see I’m doing nothing wrong.”</p><p>She glared at him with the angriest gaze she could ever remember giving him – or anyone else for that matter.</p><p>He recognized her anger and got up from where he sat.</p><p>“I apologize if I made you upset, but I don’t think movie night is a good idea if you’re just going to sit and glare at me or worse - try to guilt trip me into doing stupid things. Thanks again for the lasagna, and sorry for ruining your evening.”</p><p>He said it all in that infuriatingly clipped tone - so politely – so without emotion – so smoothly – that she had no idea what to respond in her anger as he turned around and left her place.</p><p>Part of her wanted to slam the door shut behind him, but he was already long gone before she had a chance to.</p><p>“Fuck off then!” she shouted through the door – not even sure if he could hear – but if he could, then <em>good</em>. She was better off without him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t better off without him. She cried herself to sleep that night –and in the morning she could not make it to the balcony. She lay in bed instead – exhausted – defeated – without an idea on how to get what she wanted.</p><p>She wanted him to grow closer to her – physically. Or emotionally. She wasn’t entirely certain which of the two she preferred, or if she just wanted him to reciprocate both of those needs. She had no idea if he was waiting for her on the balcony – if he even cared.</p><p>He’d been so cold, or maybe not cold per se, but… completely void of warmth.</p><p>She remained indoors that day and watched old sitcoms. The next day, she did some cleaning, before she went back to watching more sitcoms.</p><p>Feeling too emotionally drained to really cook, she ate cornflakes for breakfast, baked some eggs for lunch and had noodles for dinner.  She did that for three days in a row, until she suddenly heard a knock on the door.</p><p>Her heart jumped. She knew it was him. They never rang the doorbell, knowing how annoying the sound was, and always knocked instead.</p><p>Though she was still wearing her pajamas – at five PM – she went to the door and opened it, realizing that the hallway was empty.</p><p>Her heart sank again. Had she imagined it?</p><p>No – on the floor he’d left her a loaf of bread. A note stuck to the paper bag around it, and she lifted it and immediately read it, not bothering to go indoors just yet.</p><p>
  <em>“I know I made you upset and that you rather wouldn’t talk to me, but I do miss your company. I also know you were low on bread – so I took it upon myself to bake you some. Feel free to text if you want to talk again.”</em>
</p><p>She sobbed as she read the note a few times. She missed him terribly as well, and stood there crying for a small while, looking at his door and figuring that chances were big he was there – checking her response through the peeping hole.</p><p>“Hux?” she cried out, looking at his door as she waited miserably, and when his door slowly opened, her lip trembled.</p><p>He looked a little worried as he tilted his head sideways, looking at her in her pajamas. He was looking impeccable – as always – black trousers and a black buttoned shirt, his hair slick with hair gel.</p><p>“I’ve missed your company too,” she admitted, tears running down her cheeks as she hugged the bread tightly to her chest. “I don’t want to be angry anymore.”</p><p>“Then don’t be angry,” he said softly, almost hopefully.</p><p>“I also don’t want to be alone anymore,” she added, but to that he didn’t know what to say and he looked at her in mild confusion. “I would very much like to hug you – and I know it’s selfish – but it’s driving me wild to keep my distance from you.”</p><p>He’d turned a little red in the face, his jaw clenched as he waited for her to continue.</p><p>“You’re the only person I have left,” she said miserably. “And I know it’s not fair to ask for a hug if you don’t want to give it – and you have good reason to want to keep your distance. I’m terrified of getting sick too when I think about it for too long – but I’m more terrified of getting sick and dying without any friend nearby, without experiencing any physical warmth or kindness for what could be our final weeks.”</p><p>He was very quiet as he listened to her, and he only nodded as a sign that he’d understood her this time.</p><p>“I don’t think we’re going to die,” he admitted slowly, looking into her tearful eyes. “And I suppose you’re right. If there’s a chance we might in a few weeks from now, then I’d feel terribly guilty for not making you happier in these moments together.”</p><p>She smiled in relief and sniffed her nose. “You mean that? Can I hug you?”</p><p>He awkwardly nodded. “Sure – but fair warning – I’m not a great hugger.”</p><p>She didn’t care. She put the bread down by her door again and walked over to him, hugging him tightly. She inhaled happily as she let her head rest against his shoulder and she wasn’t immediately aware of how tensely he held her, not until she noticed he was beginning to relax with her in his arms, until he rested his chin on top of her head and squeezed her gently in his arms.</p><p>“This isn’t bad at all,” she whispered. “Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.”</p>
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